Women’s Instructions
- Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
- Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
- Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers.
- What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
- So many men – so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
- If they can put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all there.
- Tell him you’re not his type – you have a pulse.
- Never let your man’s mind wander – its too little to be left out alone.
- Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature anyway.
- Never marry a man for money. You’ll have to earn every penny.
- Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
- The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
- If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him check books.
- A man’s idea of serious commitment is usually, “Oh all right, I’ll stay the night”.
- Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn’t even have bothered to have lunch with.
- Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
- If he asks you if you if you’re faking it tell him no, you’re just practicing.
- When he asks you if he’s your first tell him, “You may be, you look familiar.”
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