Stupid Questions

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends
   Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
   Answer: Well, it’s so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought i’d watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.
2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
   Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
   Answer: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia… why don’t you try again or should i try this time.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask
   Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
   Answer: Why?Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
   Stupid Question: Is the “blah blah blah” dish good
   Answer: No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement.We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together.When some distant aunt meets you after years
   Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
   Answer: Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask
   Stupid Question: Is the guy you’re marrying good?
   Answer: No,he’s a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout… it’s just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
   Stupid Question: Sorry. were you sleeping.
   Answer: No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair
   Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
   Answer: No, its autumn and I’m shedding…
9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth
   Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
   Answer: And while I’m telling you , you tell me if I bite.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks
    Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke
    Answer: No, it’s a miracle… it was a chalk and now it’s in flames!!!